Don't do this !

P.S. I'm writing this post in the middle of my mugging session, rather the beginning of it, or no wait a minute, its about something that never existed, or something that will never exist,, er,, well you get the point, or no maybe you don't... Whatever!

Ah, did I just start with a Post-script ?
Yes I did!

I thought post script is the script that initiates the post, and went ahead to modify the .post_scriptrc file!!! ( warning, too much of time with the linux users can lead you to crazy thoughts like this!)

Or maybe its just my Hangover from 3 and a half cups of really strong coffee [:P]

Well anyway getting to what I had wanted to post, I've decided (not really decided its more like painfully concluded) that there are somethings that you shouldn't do before an exam.

(i) Even more so if you have not mugged well for it.

{
" You've not mugged for it, ergo you dont have the enthu to mug for it, ergo you dont like it, ergo you do not care about the exam but you are still concerned, ergo all you care for is grades.."

FAQ's

Q: Well who doesn't ?
A:I don't!

Q:You are lying aren't you ?
A:Yes, I'm a complete liar!
( But hey,, hold on, did I just be truthful by speaking truth? Or did I just lie when I actually am a Truther? I’m confused [:P] )

}

(ii) Oddly more so if you are planning to put a nite-out and mug. ( Nite-out plus Mug ?? Seems like an anomaly here)

(iii) Rationally so if you have thoughts of doing well in it. ( I strongly recommend, you discard there temporary files that recursively write themselves into your RAM and get automatically corrupted just before the exam, almost always leading to a kernel panic)

(iv) Irrationally so if you are a desperate to do well. (It happens so that I’m in this state, irrational as always [:D] )

BTW, the (i)'s used above are purely intended to say 'i' , all in the heights of self-obsession

Yeah so, here it goes :
1. Do not start mugging after midnight on the day of the exam.

2. If you don’t follow step one, you’ll end up feeling sleepy very soon and plan to take coffee

3. Okay, that natural, but hey, you are desperate to do well so what do you do ? Take a cup of strong coffee,, and then another,, and then another,,finally a half cup,, ( Warning: This step contains information regarding screwing your mindset and squashing its functionality, do not try this, no Don’t even think about it)

4. If you are able to retain sanctity after step 3,
a. You are strong [:)] ( Yeah its a compliment)
b. Please don’t try step 6 [ its 5 actually, but after step 2 it hardly matters, wait.., gee isn’t it 3?]

6. Don’t try speaking to anyone, not even messaging or chatting, no not even to your mirror image ( you won’t realise its you when you look into the mirror though, but just in case you do..)

7. Don’t attempt to sleep after this, thats reserved for you just as soon as the exam begins!

8. Don’t blog!

9. Don’t do any of the above 7.


Ah, now I realise the probability of a person reading this article who has proceeded till step 4 or 5 is quite low, so I guess I’ll have to explain why.

1. It never works

2. Please sleep and wake up the next day, don’t ever attempt a night out for an exam, your mind simply shuts down. ( Ah, but go ahead and do it if you are doing a course with me and its RG)

3. This makes you awake, more awake than you can ever be, much more awake than what you want to be, its worse than being asleep and not studying , you get into this “Monkey” mode. You’ll start jumping, limping, jogging, juggling(quite unsuccessfully), and worst of all dancing!

4. Now in the aftermath of 3, you slightly begin to realise,” oopsie I’ve to mug now!” But hey, this fellow is online why not ask him what he has done.

In rare cases when you are mugging BT, you might end you proving that you've almost all the brain disorders
thatit could possibly suggest. I felt like a 3rd stage Alzhimer and a second stage Parkinson's patient. Yes I had vague recollections of diagnosing myself with Conduction Aphasia also!

5. I so totally can’t predict what happens in this part, either the guy signs off psyched, or he yells at you, or he comes to your room and strangles you until you stop laughing and begin coughing instead.

6. Its too embarrassing to admit what happens in this stage, it turns out just awful, plain simple awful, man Hallucinations, what can get worse? [:(]

7. You can try it out, it doesn’t happen (Not even if you are reading about the Mylenic Shin that covers the neurons and prevents damping of signals. All due to temporary Mylenic sclerosis. The sleep signal simply can’t travel in your axons and builds up pressure like an inversion layer formation in laser, the moment you enter the exam hall, the threshold is crossed...it just shoots an intense wave )

8. You might regret putting it up later, but while you are writing it, it sure as hell is fun! (You never know, well its like this Schrodinger’s cat )

9. For those who have tried these out, I’m looking for alternative ways to end this post. Help me out no...

10. Despite all my attempts to restrain myself, I’ll say this, this feeling now the awakeness is AWESOME

P.S. As I was writing this post, I’m slightly beginning to gain sense, so I decided to stop fooling with myself and start mugging

P.P.S. All the Best! To myself and the other deplorable souls writing BT101

Finally, I know I’ve made a total mess of myself, but you are still my friend right? Whatsay we give a virtual hug to each other and put all my messes behind you and promise never to look back?

( Yes, good things are not the only things that come to an end, but sadly they too end )